“You can’t stay pregnant forever”…

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Yep… That’s what one of the nurses said to me, the lady past due with her forth child, as I laid there in terrible pain, being discharged because they did not have time to induce me. I needed to be on the “schedule” for that. (but if my cervix was working, I guess they make time?)

Had I been composed enough to school her, I would have. Mostly I wanted to scratch her eyes out but decided too control myself.

I am not a doctor or midwife or doula. I don’t deliver babies all day. I do know my own body and from experience, it is not cooperative when it comes to the actual act of going into labor. I joke about it and try to make light of it, but really I am being dead serious and it bothers me quite a bit. When I hear someone talk about how they went into labor on their own, I get ridiculously jealous… Like too an unhealthy level.

People will say, especially the nurses and midwifes LOVE to say tell you (and if you are like me, you get real freaking tired of it and you want to go insane on them) … your baby will come when your ready. Oh really?? Apparently you missed that special on tv about the woman with the 30 yr old fetus, didn’t you???

Not every one’s body works the way it should. If it did, there would be a lot of pissed off doctors and nurses, out of work with piles of college bills to pay. I do not know why this is the general assumption… Ya know, especially since we all like in a perfect world. Not.
It makes people like me feel broken and insufficient, like a failure.

Not to mention, although it was probably barbaric, c-sections have been dated back to like 300 BC. Why? Well, it wasn’t because mom wanted too but because there was a medical need. Nowadays, I think c-sections and inductions tend to be performed more often unnecessarily and for social reasons but it is not always the case. If mom is having a medical emergency, a c-section will save lives.

I have been lucky so far that I have not needed a c-section. My body reacts positively to petocin so my babies have been born via induction. I firmly believe that if not for modern day medicine, I would still be pregnant with my first – just like that woman in India.

As I have mentioned, we grow big babies in this family. It is a trait on Hubbs side of the family. There is no history of prenatal diabetes… just big, hearty, healthy babies… Ready to be put to work on the farm! Haha! Which is also another pet peeve of mine… The drs and nurses assume me or baby has a sugar problem when they find out how I have big babies. It is just as simple as genetics! It also makes a natural birth a little more challenging, even if you are able to go into real labor on your own.

Anyhow, with my first baby, the doctor allowed me to wait over a week past my due date knowing the possibility of the baby being rather large. I understand this is common practice with first time moms, I get it. A week past my due date, and my cervix had not done a thing and I had been in false labor for weeks. (supposedly contractions are what cause your cervix to progress and ready for labor). My labor with him was so bad, I SWORE I would never get pregnant again. (well we see how that worked out). He was huge and I was in hard labor for 2 1/2 hours, so physically exhausted, I would sleep for even 30 secs between contractions and pushing. My dr was on the verge of rushing me to the OR for emergency c-section when I was finally able to get him out. An absolutely terrible birthing experience… Not like I would ever call a birthing experience good. I mean, the end result, your beautiful baby, is good but the process is excruciating and there is a lot of yucky fluids involved.

I know women who start to dilate and get stuck therefore needing a c-section. So how does the “when your ready” method apply here?? You continue to labor and not progress therefore causing stress on the baby and baby passes meconium, or worse! So if one is in the sort of situation, you cannot sit around and wait for your body to finish “getting ready”. Maybe you see where I am going with this. “You’re not ready” is a freaking cop out. I hate it. I hate hearing it. I want to banish it from all languages.

So, why doesn’t my cervix work? (all you all-knowing can kiss it if you try to tell me there is no such thing as a cervix that doesn’t work- I have been through it!!!) I get nice strong contractions. This morning they felt like the contractions I get on petocin… Bent over, crying in pain. But my cervix is still doing a whole lotta nothing. When the midwife tells me I am dilated to 1, I do not believe her. I think she is trying to be nice to me and lift my spirits. I am not freaking idiot. This is my forth pregnancy, remember?!?! Your mind games only set me up for disappointment and anger.

So I am curious, what is it that I am deficient in? Why do i have such a hard time going into real labor? And why is it that the petocin helps me?

I have done a little research and it all makes sense to me now. I can’t wait to educate my drs tomorrow! It is going to be awesome. Well, for me at least.

Both men and women have a hormone called oxytocin. This is the “cuddle” hormone. It is also the hormone responsible for causing contractions that ready your cervix and help you deliver your baby. It is also believed to vital to the nursing process. On this note: I have never produced more then 2 oz of breast milk, ever. It’s all starting to make sense… The nursing specialist (the one who cost me $450 with her nonsense) had told me that all women make enough milk for their babies, can shove it now.

When someone is deficient in this hormone… Well I am just going to quote it:

“What is oxytocin used for?

The medical use of oxytocin has centered primarily on labor and delivery, dating back as far as 1906. Common trade names for prescription oxytocin used for labor and delivery are pitocin and syntocinon.

The science of oxytocin outside of labor and delivery use is still relatively new. However, studies as early as 1998 have been conducted on the effectiveness of oxytocin as a treatment for autism as well as schizophrenia. Essentially, oxytocin’s role is to assist in the modulation of the amygdala — the brain’s center for stress hormones.

Oxytocin deficiency

If oxytocin production is not working optimally and an individual has an oxytocin deficiency, then he or she may be prone to postpartum depression, generalized depression and anxiety, social isolation, phobias, panic attacks, sleep difficulties, and other common stress related ailments.

In 1995 the Atlanta Center for the Study of Disease Control estimated that 80% of diseases and disorders are related to stress. Hypothetically, if the brain’s modulating hormone for cortisol is not working effectively then the outcome is an increase in many of the ailments common today.”

Ha! It is a real problem. Oxytocin deficiency. Cortisol levels are also linked to being over weight… I really think I am onto something here. Need to do more research! Oh and cut out all stress… Oookkkkkkkkk

In the meantime, I will take great pleasure in responding to the nurse when she asks if I am dilated, “Due to oxytocin deficiency, NO.”


One thought on ““You can’t stay pregnant forever”…

  1. Oh honey I feel your ‘pain.’ While my cervix would start to dialate, it would never finish the job. I, too, have had 4 pregnancies and not a single one went ‘normally.’ I always required intervention to finish the job. I’m praying for you and your baby! And you school those doctors good – they need to learn that we really do know our own bodies!

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